NOTE. You’ll think I’m bonkers after reading this, I’m not, just find myself despairing at other humans and their behaviour.
Anger and happiness. Two basic human emotions. Two emotions that effect everyone. Two emotions that can define a person.
I could be described as quite an angry person. There are many things I’m constantly angry about, politics, injustice against people, people not thinking about their actions and consequences, daft statements that can hurt others. I’ve usually either released part of it online or totally bottled it up, refusing to let the burning, screaming desire to smash and break all objects (never people) in my surroundings to get the better of me.
Now, however, I just cannot be bothered with being angry anymore. It takes up so time, energy and emotion. It builds up into what feels like intolerable levels and drives me totally insane. I find it hard to contemplate the world around and start to wonder why anybody bothers doing anything at all. I’ve always tried to help people but I come out feeling furious, I can’t stand it. It’s going to be incredibly hard to resist being angry, particularly with how the world acts. Nobody thinks about how what they say or do could effect other people, its the selfishness of the human race shining through. People are driven to despair by the stupid actions of others, sometimes worse.
Truly happy moments are probably more fleeting and hard to come by for everyone, especially given the anger thrown around at one another is so common. These moments can come in many forms, time with a partner, sporting events, music, drugs in some cases, comedy, but most would agree that these moments are few and far between. The happiness is so rare and full of ecstasy (not a drugs joke) that people cause themselves to be furiously angry with themselves and others when they are denied this happiness. If everyone tried to make others happy, there would be no problem, how could anybody be angry? This doesn’t happen though, because human beings are selfish. Each and every one of us. It’s so much easier to be happy than angry, so if we helped each other and understood each other’s viewpoints and problems then we can all begin to be happy. I’m unsure anybody on this planet truly understands somebody else, down to the deepest feelings and desires, everyone hides something.
This is all speculative obviously. The fundamental flaw in human nature is ingrained selfishness. Nobody will ever abandon their selfish desires, nobody will ever keep listening and understanding others. The despair I feel when thinking about this is deep and far reaching. I’m not saying I’ve thought about it because I haven’t, I can’t stress that enough, but you can easily see how people feel so empty, lonely and depressed to do harm to themselves, to escape this world.
Usually this would make me angry, but what’s the point? What is the point in being angry about anything? It won’t solve anything, neither will being helpful and understanding, because there’s a bloody good chance the person that is wronging you will be too blinded by anger and selfishness to even care or understand how you think or act in private.
Before anyone says anything, I’m fine. I haven’t gone mad – no more than usual. I’m not aiming this at anyone, only the human race.
Keep smiling people, not that anyone will notice.