August. The month of holidays, the month of sport seasons beginning once again, the month of anticipation and preparation for the coming university/work season. For most people this is what August represents, understandably so, however it bears a different meaning for me.
9th of August 2012 was the greatest day of my life, one I’ll never forget – despite the fact I seem to be unable to remember anything that happened between midday and the evening. That day was the day that me and Emma Greenall became a couple. It was a very odd morning, not a situation I was used to – with Emma being my first and only girlfriend/love – waking up and entering a relationship a couple of hours later, what I do remember is being very fidgety and nervously excited, I hardly sat still all day! My most vivid memory of the day is that we nearly didn’t get together at all, I remember us discussing whether being together would work due to the 89 miles between our homes and therefore between us. Don’t get me wrong, we both very much wanted to be together, we just didn’t know how it would work. It was almost a very upsetting day. I don’t quite remember what changed our minds or made us decide to give it a go but we eventually came to the conclusion that we wanted to be together far too much to let it go without even trying – cue literal yells of joy coming from my mouth!
There hasn’t been a moment in these past two years that has ever made me question or regret that decision, Emma has made me happier than I thought it was possible to be and I still have to pinch myself every single day to remind me that its actually real and not the most amazing dream/coma in the world! I always have to wonder what I was doing with my life before I met Emma, it doesn’t seem possible to live much of a life without her! I’m unsure as to exactly what it is that she sees in me (despite the amount of times she has explained) as I just can’t get it into my head that somebody so incredibly perfect and beautiful would ever want to be with me. This surprises me even more given that I’m pretty prone to doing some really stupid boneheaded things that would test almost everybody else in the world, yet Emma overlooks these things and somehow still loves me as much as I love her! I know I could never be without Emma and I definitely want to spend the rest of my life with her – I know how many teenagers and just general people say that about their partners but I mean it from the bottom of my heart. We broke up briefly for a couple of weeks in February 2013 and it was pure hell, I could hardly leave the house let alone talk to people. Those few weeks convinced me that I could never live without her as it completely broke me, I was a shell of a person!
As testament to how much she means to be, at the beginning of 2013 I gave up on my dream to become a British Army Officer as I realised I couldn’t put Emma through the stress and worry of being with someone who was serving abroad in conflict hit regions. Looking at me now, its hard to believe I was ever serious about joining the Army – given that I’m a similar shape to a balloon – but those who I’d spoken to about it knew just how much I wanted to join up one day, which just shows how much I love Emma and how much she means to be. I was more than prepared to completely give up my dream career that I’d been obsessing over since I was young. It was never a case of chickening out of the Army, I feel I was mentally prepared for any consequences but I’ll never know for sure, but entirely a case of being unable to bear the thought of Emma being left alone in the future should the worst happen to me. I love her far too much to put her through even a tiny bit of stress, she deserves the best I can give her and I will always give everything I can to make sure she’s happy.
There’s not too much more I can say, I’ve always struggled with putting my feelings into words – as Emma knows – so all I can really say is I love you Emma, I’ll always love you with all of my heart.
For those that read all to the way to the end of this; firstly well done for doing so and secondly thank you for doing so, I want the entire world to know just what this beautiful woman means to me. In my head I picture a few readers shedding a tear or two (not my thing, I’ve got a heart of steel….) but that could be pure vanity on my part.
I love you Emma, never forget that!
Everyone else, thank you once again for reading!