Well, hasn’t it been a while? My writing juices have been dedicated to University work which, obviously, have taken preference over a blind stab at converting my many musings into proper words and sentences. Its hard to focus the mind to try and translate such an unimaginable tide of mostly nonsense.
However, I find myself dealing with more serious thoughts than usual, ones which seem out of place in my usual toddler-like mind. Thoughts that, driven by other people’s actions I should add, fill me with an almost unbearable rage and fury. Its a strange situation to be in, writing here is my outlet for these thoughts (I think thoughts is the wrong word but I can’t think of a replacement) yet I feel the urgent need to act properly, an act of aggression if you will, though most of me tells me that’s a bad idea, I wouldn’t really know what would fulfil the need to thrash out anyway.
What is really getting to me is the unbelievable lack of respect, morals and acceptance shown by some people that consider themselves ‘men’. There are perfect examples of this all over the internet in everyday life but I am thinking of specifics (I won’t go into details, as much as I would love to, its not really fit for public opinion or knowledge), the actions of certain people are ones that turn my stomach and make me somewhat ashamed to even be part of the same species as them. There are so many lines which should not be crossed in society, most people being honourable enough to accept the arrangements of other people’s lives and let them get on with it, others however, seem hell-bent on destroying what some people have and actually hoping for another person’s life to be destroyed in order to get what they want. I for one do not understand how anybody could do this. I don’t feel comfortable thinking or speaking positively about myself at all, but I would like to think I’m at least a respectful and accepting person and I know that I could not live with myself or still consider myself a man had I done something and continued to act in such a way like this.
If this all seems a little strange and poorly explained then its due to the trickiness of writing like this without specifying exactly what I’m on about, its very hard to get my point across without giving any examples that could hint at what I’m on about. The best way I can really explain my mess of a blog post is that the lack of morals shown by people these days is something that really gets on my fucking nerves. Both men and women do this, I’m not singling out either, but it annoys me more when I see men do it. I’m not sure why this is, it could be that (cue “sexist!” “How dare you!” “male supremacist”) traditionally, men have been seen as honourable, somewhat stiff upper-lipped and brave (I am NOT saying women aren’t, I’m just relaying what thousands of years of civilised society has said) so to see this ‘tradition’ destroyed by fellow men just makes my blood boil, its pathetic. Its almost like a group of primary school girls (“Lets get him, girls!”) constantly going behind each others back and fucking each other over just to get what they want, I can’t believe I’m seeing it from people who are legally considered men. It astonishes me that they can live with themselves. I feel like they’re doing the cowardly thing of avoiding clear and correct confrontation and just going behind people’s backs and being manipulative. Being ‘slimy’ and cowardly, is the best way I can put it.
I do feel marginally better after writing that, though the residual anger will live in me until this cowardice ceases to be, its something that haunts my being.
I don’t really have a happy sign off this time.